Yard Sales

I hate yard sales.

Let me clarify that a little. I love going to yard sales, especially ones that are non-specific; by that I mean yard sales that are not simply selling all of one thing - children's clothes and old toys; all car parts; personal-care stuff in bulk, picked up at store clearance end-caps and sold en masse in a yard sale. What I hate is having yard sales.

Okay, maybe hate is a strong word when associated with yard sales, but anyone who's ever had a yard sale can probably understand.

First of all, you have to pick a day (or, if you're going to do it for the whole weekend, or, at least, several days, a weekend), and make sure ahead of time that the weather is good. Then, the morning of the yard sale (or the first morning, if it's a multiple-day event), you've got to get up very early and start dragging out stuff (yes, that's the technical term): tables (even if this includes closet doors propped up on chairs), boxes of sales-stuff, stuff that won't fit into boxes (that old lawn mower that you've meant to get rid of), place everything onto tables (well, except for that lawn mower), and make sure that it's spread out in some kind of order - books with books, DVDs together, etc. Then, you've got to make sure your yard sale signs are where people can see them and be directed to your yard sale. This can be dicey, especially if you're silly enough to try doing this by yourself; put the signs out at main streets before putting stuff on the tables, and you're liable to have people driving by while you're opening that first box of stuff to put out. But put the stuff out after you've set up, and there's a good chance people will come by while no one is watching the sale. Yup, best to have at least one other person helping out. Either way, though, figure it's going to take a good hour (or two) to completely set up. I can almost guarantee that half-way through the morning, you'll remember that one or two items that you really wanted to set out in the sale; this happens almost every time I've had a yard sale.

Of course, the weather isn't necessarily a problem if you've got a garage with a secure-able garage door. You can set up in the garage a little at a time during the week before the sale, knowing that if it rains, you can still have the sale. And if the weather is nice, you can drag one or two tables out on the day of the sale so that people driving down the street can spot the sale easier.

Then there's the wait. If you're lucky and lots of people wander by, you won't have much of a wait. And, of course, at the end of the sale, there's the clean-up, where you put everything away...

My last yard sale was held on a weekend where there was a thirty percent chance of rain. Yes, 30%! That might sound crazy, but hear me out. This is Florida and summer is the rainy season. Thirty percent was the lowest chance of rain we'd had for a few weeks, and what looked like the lowest percent in the near future. Besides, the rain was predicted to show up mid-afternoon, giving me (and my daughter, M.H., who'd wanted to have the yard sale) all morning and a couple of afternoon hours to sell stuff. Besides, the previous Saturday, when M.H. had really wanted to have the yard sale, we'd had a fifty percent chance of rain, which, of course, meant putting the sale off by a week. And then, on the 50%-chance-of-rain-day, it didn't rain until after 5:00 that afternoon. Dang, I thought. We could have had the yard sale and had it over and done with! Thirty percent chance of afternoon rain sounded good.

Saturday morning, I put out the tables, then hung out the signs before rushing back to finish setting up. As some point, I texted M.H. to let her know what was up; she texted back that she'd be over in a little while to help out.

Over the next hour or so, there was a steady stream of people coming by. Quite a few stopped, some bought stuff, while others slowed down, glanced over, then kept going. M.H. came by with her daughter, G.H., and the two of us kept fairly busy.

At some point, the clouds started rolling in, slowly, at first, then rapidly.

"I hope it doesn't rain," M.H. said. I agreed, then mentioned that it wasn't supposed to rain until mid-afternoon.

But within a few minutes it started sprinkling. We started grabbing some of the stuff that would be ruined by the rain - books, the closet doors being used as tables, that sort-of thing.

But suddenly, the rain poured down in earnest. It was like standing in the shower, fully dressed, while we scrambled around dragging stuff in, shouting "Grab that box over there!" and "Help me drag this box in now; it's falling apart!"

Once we got everything in, I lent M.H. clothes so she could put her soaking wet clothes into the last load of laundry she was doing at our place that week.

Neither of us was happy. The week before, when there was a 50% chance of rain, causing us to delay our yard sale plans, it hadn't rained until after 5:00. Now, when the rain chance hovered at 30% of afternoon showers, making it look good for a sale (or, at least, a better day for a sale), it had rained before noon. Yes, we groused. We were definitely not happy.

But finally, we got our acts together and started going through the yard sale boxes that we'd dragged inside, picking stuff to save for a future sale, stuff for Ebay, stuff for M.H. to donate to Goodwill on her way home, stuff to throw out. It took an hour or two.

"At least we made some money," M.H. said.

Finally, stuff set into groups - future yard sale/Ebay stuff, donate bag, other stuff thrown out - M.H. and G.H. got ready to leave. "I'm so over yard sales," M.H. said as they headed out. I had to agree. It had been a fiasco.

Yes, it rained the rest of the day. So much for 30 %. And yes, when it looks like I'll be having another yard sale sometime in the sort-of near future.

Not that I'm in any hurry.